nerdfrau - the nerd's match

Posted By: broozar

nerdfrau - the nerd's match - 03/09/08 22:33

well, morbius is entitled "life beyond games".
this is a post for all of you 18 and up, for those out of school.

i was always wondering how pc nerds find women. most attractive women can't understand the fascination of pc gaming, game creation, programming etc. and are rather interested in dancing, fashion, etc. things that the average pc nerd can't stand, obviously.

pc nerds have few hobbies. they are rarely seen outdoors. they do rarely engage in social activities.

now, the internet has proven a great platform to meet women through dating portals, meaning having home field advantage. but that would be too easy. the internet is a place where nerds gather, they do not meet other people with different interests, but rather themselves in different bodies.

as i see many of you through msn/icq/the forum online for the most part of the day, i wonder how you manage this particular aspect of social, private life of your own.

now pick one question and feel free to spin a tale:

how did you meet your girlfriends/wives/mates, if any?
any opinions about online dating portals?
what does yout mate think about your pc job/obsession/hobby?
how does the pc interfere with your social/private life?
are you ashamed to tell women that you like computing?
are you concerned about your look, the impression you make on women?
do you think pc is addicting and inhibits family life?

Posted By: checkbutton

Re: nerdfrau - the nerd's match - 03/09/08 22:39

Well, do you really think, everybody here on the board doesn't have a "life beyond games"?

Posted By: broozar

Re: nerdfrau - the nerd's match - 03/09/08 22:40

i think most of you do, otherwise i wouldn't post these questions in hope you'd share your experience.
I#m wondering, do you consider yourself a "(3dgs/pc/whatever) nerd"? what is it that makes one a "nerd"?

Posted By: checkbutton

Re: nerdfrau - the nerd's match - 03/09/08 22:44

I wanted to say, that I'm not that computer obsessed, that it ever was a problem.
And I never learned to know a girl in a chat or so. The only thing, that could probably be useful are social networks...

Posted By: Doug

Re: nerdfrau - the nerd's match - 03/10/08 01:32

Be yourself, but make sure you get out and do lots of stuff.

Do stuff you like (dance, bike, surf, skate, drink, etc.).
Meet with your Facebook/MySpace/Friendster friends IRL (most groups have meet-ups).

If the girl/boy(/other) you like doesn't like your hobbies, it isn't going to work out. Don't hide who you are.

And, if all else fails, there is always Craigs-List. (j/k, but check out that link).

Posted By: sPlKe

Re: nerdfrau - the nerd's match - 03/10/08 04:02

i would consider myself a nerd. at least not a PC nerd. i have too many differents hobbies tobe a enrd, and thus, this question is one i cannot answer. but.. and thats a big but, even if id be a nerd, i guess id still have met my wive, because she is a gamer. we met while takling about games, so this way or the other, i would have won^^

but i guess nerds meet them girls online? i have no idea...

Posted By: Hellcrypt

Re: nerdfrau - the nerd's match - 03/10/08 05:05

Interesting question, with the internet and computer games, kids now a days are a lot less social with women and other people in general. It's difficult to break out of your shell if you grew up with games as a main part of your life.

Dough: "Be yourself". Unfortunately if their selves suck then it won't do them much good will it? They need to hit bottom low with themselves in order to be willing to change and become a better self.

"how did you meet your girlfriends/wives/mates, if any?"
I don't really have time for one but I keep women in my life, because I changed my lifestyle to include women in it.

"any opinions about online dating portals?"
Usually you got to know what you are doing, I met some great girls and some very strange ones. However I would just stick to real life, much more personal and you learn a lot more.

"what does yout mate think about your pc job/obsession/hobby?"
I don't really care, they can deal with it. If they give me crap about it, I am not really interested in having that person around me.

"how does the pc interfere with your social/private life?"
It use to, but I caught the problem and spent time to improve that.

"are you ashamed to tell women that you like computing?"
Ha hell no, I have told women I am a complete bum that lives on the street. Always fun making things up.

"are you concerned about your look, the impression you make on women?"
Luckily I was blessed with good looks, however that didn't help me much. You may have heard this before but looks don't really matter that much. Now there is a difference between good looks and well groomed. The guy on that picture is just not taking care of himself. Get a new wardrobe, shower, go to the gym and get in shape. There is no excuse for that.

"do you think pc is addicting and inhibits family life?"
Very much, and there needs to be a way to make sure their young are not confused with real life and computers. It will do them more harm then good later on in life.

I tried not to get into too much detail here broozar, but if you are interested in learning more. You can PM me.

Posted By: xXxGuitar511

Re: nerdfrau - the nerd's match - 03/10/08 06:23

Well, I play in a metal band, and I work in a restaurant, and software development. I'm a weird mix, but only 17....

Wherever someone knows me from, they'd never expect the other two...

Posted By: amy

Re: nerdfrau - the nerd�s match - 03/10/08 13:01

Richard Stallman is hot!

He is an interesting nerd. With gamers who never get out and don�t have any other interests I would be cautious though.

Posted By: Michael_Schwarz

Re: nerdfrau - the nerd�s match - 03/10/08 14:20

There are enough gamer girls out there, ive seen and known them. Just keep looking

Posted By: Excessus

Re: nerdfrau - the nerd�s match - 03/10/08 14:28

Quote:

pc nerds have few hobbies. they are rarely seen outdoors. they do rarely engage in social activities.

If this is the case, women are the least of your problems. I strongly believe that both social activities and sports are required for a healthy physical and mental state. Those, in turn, are what desirable women find attractive (yea that's a generalization and simplification).

What most "nerds" (man I hate that word) don't realize is that both sports and social activities can be a lot of fun, once you reach a certain level of proficiency. And it is important to understand that both are skills just like any other. Most people understand this in the case of sports, but not for social stuff. Poor social skills are not so much something you are born with, you can train it like any other skill.

Quote:

what does yout mate think about your pc job/obsession/hobby?

I have found that women I have met react differently depending on how I tell them what I do. I usually get a positive response when I include emotional aspects, and negative ones when I focus on technical details (no matter how basic to you). For example, if I say that I create graphical effects (shaders, but that's too technical) that spice up the game or help engage the player, or tell them that I make games multiplayer so that players can have fun together, I tend to get positives responses. People often follow up by saying they never understood how games/programs where made. Don't tell them what a programming language or game engine is, that'll quickly bore them. Just say something like "yea it's difficult" and then say something else.

Quote:

are you concerned about your look, the impression you make on women?

Being concerned with your looks gets you nowhere. It will only make nervous when women are around, which in turn will leave a bad impression of you. So if you are not concerned about your looks (or whatever else there is to be concerned about), there is no reason to be concerned. That's not to say you shouldn't takae care of yourself.

Posted By: JibbSmart

Re: nerdfrau - the nerd�s match - 03/10/08 21:26

i like this thread already. it's interesting to see what people have to say about themselves, women, and their social lives, and nice to see that people here actually do get out.

"how did you meet your girlfriends/wives/mates, if any?"
school. graduated together. hooked up graduation night, kept that going for a couple of weeks and started a relationship (though the relationship could've started a lot earlier). past girlfriends were at school or relatives of friends of mine.

"any opinions about online dating portals?"
risky. i've never tried them so i can't talk from experience, but i think there's a tendency for them to be perceived as a last-resort. i wouldn't ever try them.

"what does yout mate think about your pc job/obsession/hobby?"
my obsession is football (soccer). my girl plays on a girls football team. we can play/talk about football all the time. it really isn't hard to balance a mental hobby with a physical hobby (computers and football, for example).

"how does the pc interfere with your social/private life?"
i wouldn't say it interferes. it helps me keep in touch with a friend of mine who's cruising around queensland during his gap-year. it helps me get info on what my friends are doing. i think part of the ease of that, though, is that a few of my friends are unhealthily obsessed with myspace without being computer nerds, if you know what i mean. a lot of people (mostly girls) are starting to do that.

"are you ashamed to tell women that you like computing?"
no way. i do avoid trying to explain the complications of writing physics or fancy shaders, though. but that's not too hard, coz i don't actually like talking about computers with people in person. i make much better friends with other musos or sporting mates than people who just wanna talk about games or what version of linux they use. --that being said, online is an exception. written discussions about games and game development are great, i reckon, in a forum format.

"are you concerned about your look, the impression you make on women?"
nah.

"do you think pc is addicting and inhibits family life?"
i know it does with my brother

he's almost always on his laptop looking for the latest goss on games.

julz

Posted By: Captain_Kiyaku

Re: nerdfrau - the nerd�s match - 03/11/08 07:03

how did you meet your girlfriends/wives/mates, if any?
Online, and we are together for 3 1/2 year now

any opinions about online dating portals?
Actually it's a good way to meet people IMO, especially if someone is really shy. You can get a first expression at the beginning and later meet the one IRL. Without this online platform, you probably wouldnt even ask a girls.

what does yout mate think about your pc job/obsession/hobby?
She likes the idea that i create games and she also likes to play (not that much but more than the avarage of girls do i think).

how does the pc interfere with your social/private life?
Only positive. I'm not addicted to my computer, i often had weeks/month where i had no PC and had still a LOT of fun with other people and i didn't miss anything.
Though the PC makes many things easier, so it only "affect" it in a positive way.

are you ashamed to tell women that you like computing?
Nope. I love to play games and to create them, thats my passion. If a girl doesn't like it, it's the best thing to clear that at the beginning so you won't waste your time with a person who dislikes you by what you do as hobby

are you concerned about your look, the impression you make on women?
I don't look good and make a shy, uncertain impression. It really bothered me years ago but since i found the perfect girl for me who even looks really good, i don't weigth my impression to strangers that high anymore.

do you think pc is addicting and inhibits family life?
I think i would be more extroverted without the PC cause i HAVE to meet people IRL and not in the internet first. Don't know if it's inhabits family life in general but in my case, it does a bit at least

Posted By: amy

Re: nerdfrau - the nerd�s match - 02/09/09 04:54

http://www.catb.org/~esr/writings/sextips/

Posted By: lostclimate

Re: nerdfrau - the nerd�s match - 02/09/09 08:44

hmmm... i guess my solution is make your career your hobby, this type of efficiency gives you free time to "put up with a girlfriend" or at least in my case

EDIT:

also wanted to add that for me, charisma can also make being a geek into a good thing. If you can maintain the right image you look successful and smart, but with a slightly bad slacker approach just to give an edge. if you do it wrong tho, you just look like a slacker.