When I kill myself..

Hi,
Your friend Mal here.

So when I final get drunk enough and kill myself , I will leave a message to reg at this forum and ask in this thread about me. What will you say to those that gave a damn to ask. That's not a question. In fact this seems a notice. I have love'd those here, why else spent the majority of my life and free time here.

Fear not, I am making future plans ( passed behavior is the best predictor of future behavior/goals)
I will be will with you longer still, but this is my mind.
Mal

Just don't run towards the light! (even when it shows belgium beer)

Dude, real talk, get some help. This forum is not the right place, it's full of wannabe next Notch's and bitter not-so-old-as-of-yet men.

Got it @Sid, Last place I was something. But I got it. BTW 15 years of trying, striving, failing - there just isn't any help.

However, I see and will detract this behavior from the forum.

Thanks
Now off to more drinks to escape this life
Be water
Mal

Um if I didn't say it, Thanks, I just can't sse the screen clear now.
Mal

If you suffer from depression, then I am really, truly sorry. That disease fucking sucks.
I realize that "just going to therapy" is not the walk in the park some people make it out to be, especially if you are suffering, but there definitely, absolutely is a use to that.

You've said that you've tried for fifteen years, so I'm not gonna pretend I know better than you do - I take it then you have tried several therapists (not just one) and forms of therapy, medication (again, not just one), and all the other things that seem to help (from meditation and mindfulness to exercise and volunteering)? If not- well, it'd be great if you tried it. Who knows, it might make things a tiny bit better (or even quite a lot).

If you are thinking about killing yourself now, then please call 1-800-273-8255 (TALK) (in the US) and you'll get someone who, unlike me, actually knows what they're talking about, AND who is able to answer and just listen live, which is just a tremendous help. If you'd prefer chat, the link is here.

Of course, if you prefer, you can keep posting and I'll reply as soon as I'm able to. Just wanted to give a heads up that I am far from a "professional" - as in, I don't know what it's like. And, well, due to time zones, I guess there's always gonna be a delay. But I will reply. You can also PM me if you prefer.

All the best to you!

Thank you^

Gonna sink this post.

I am now working to fix these issues and stop the alcohol abuse.

Thank you.
Mal